05.Aug.2010 #586
Despite your personal politics, I think we all can agree that Gregory has gone beyond conservative and is fast becoming the poster boy for all Tea-Partyin’, Glen-Beck-Lovin’ Focus-on-the-Family-ers.
Other thoughts (I assume) Gregory has:
– Gay marriage is a slippery slope for dogs and aliens to get married
– Our current president is actually a pre-teen Benjamin Button [...]
06.Jul.2010 #547
This is how Peter decided to celebrate the birth of America: drunk FBing (seemingly alone.) Molly Elizabeth is awake, though, but sad. Could she be Peter’s sweetheart? If I were Peter’s girlfriend (which I’m not, wink, wink, CRAIG), I would be sad, too. Depressed, really. I’d feel as if the entire idea of freedom and [...]
05.Jul.2010 #546
Is this breaking-bad-news-by-commenting-on-an-unrelated-status become a fast growing trend? If so, I want out. If someone really needs to hear about a death in the family, perhaps facebook (let alone an unrelated status) is not the place to do it.
Also, HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY? Also, thanks to H. for submitting!
13.May.2010 #479
Look everybody, it’s the Second Coming of Christ! I mean, it’s The Purge!
If The Purge ever does happen, you can bet Alex’s friends will be psyched. I mean, who do you have to sleep with to be purged around here?
Thanks for submitting, T. Promise you won’t purge us ever, we’ll just die.
03.May.2010 #466
I know what you’re thinking: Scott sucks. But wait for it…
Hey Scott, um, if you love the Civil War so much, why don’t you marry it? Or like, why don’t you go back to 1861? Nobody wants you here.
I went back and forth in my mind whether I should post this or not — Scott [...]
20.Apr.2010 #448
A note from our submitter, J (thanks!):
Okay, I have to submit this guy. Not only is his Facebook page a litany of edgy statements about hating the environment, fuck the polar bears and carbon offsetting and hang all criminals, but he thinks he is a character because he comes out with misogynistic crap all the [...]
14.Apr.2010 #440
I’m setting Micaiah up on a play date with the schizophrenic, homeless, umbrella-as-a-dress-wearing, boom-box-carrying man who camps out on my street corner. They’re going to have a ton to discuss.
I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
Thanks for sending, C!
23.Mar.2010 #414
And so it continues.
Chris: I didn’t know that pregnancy was a preexisting condition… perhaps you missed the part of the bill where it states that no federal funds will be used for elective abortions.
Brooks: God just texted me and said that you need to Wikepedia “communism.” He also said you need to cool it with [...]
22.Mar.2010 #412
“No one isw going a a-bull 2 pay 4 it it will be 2 hi 4 everyone.”
– B
I guess those House of Representatives really should have paid closer attention to the flawless logic of A and B before they passed that bill.
I just hope our amazing submitter, R., is saved “’cause it’s about to be [...]
24.Feb.2010 #380
Four sentences into this status, I thought, “sounds like something a meth addict would say.” And then I hear the words “crash cource to death!!!!!” “walking miracle!!!” and the accompanying message from our submitter:
GAHHH!! Your religion is annoying! This guy is a recovering meth addict!!! He’s happy to be alive!!! HAM SANDWICHES!!! He’s very egotistical!!! [...]